Friday Funnies: It's a Bloodbath
and a border, you know...
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.
At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.
But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.
-Anonymous
It is true, PETA is petitioning Jill Biden and the White House to switch out easter eggs for dyed potatoes this year… From the letter:
"I’m writing on behalf of (PETA)... to respectfully suggest an appealing way to modernize the White House Easter Egg Roll—one that would be truly inclusive and welcomed by every tot who doesn’t eat eggs for religious, cultural, or environmental reasons or because they object to the way animals, including hens whose reproductive systems are exploited for eggs, are raised and killed these days,"
”It’s just a border, you know”…
A haunting new song from Willie Nelson
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Top vote goes to the squirrels. 🐿️ 🤣
Have to say that Pope Francis clinging to his jabs isn’t helping. What’s he afraid of??
Great Friday funnies!! Well today, like in the movie ground hog day, is another stab in the back by house republicans. They are set to pass what amounts to a staggering 7 trillion dollar funding bill with strong bi-partisan support, of course!! This will further crush generations of Americans that have not even been born yet. As their useless selfish term winds to an end I can’t help but think of all of their pre election promises that have turned into lies. They have not only continued the full funding of the democrat war against us, their political opponents, and their widening jailing of conservatives, but are also fully funding the new massive fbi building and the humongous irs expansion. I can’t leave out all of the Covid Nazis now receiving their huge pensions, like Anthony Fauci, without ever receiving a subpoena. When we needed them the most we have truly been helped the least. I can not ever remember a time in my life where I’ve felt so let down by this Republican Party. This is the icing on the cake of completing the definition of being a Judas. J.Goodrich