On-Line Narcissistic Self-Victimization
Choose personal growth over short term dopamine hits
Narcissists may play the victim if they believe they gain something from making you feel guilty. Their tendency to use manipulation tactics is one of the formal symptoms of narcissistic personality.
“Why Do Narcissistic Personalities Play the Victim?” PsychCentral, By Sandra Silva Casabianca and Traci Pedersen
A victim narcissist is someone who lives his/her life as a victim. This person refuses to take responsibility for anything that goes wrong. They have a tendency to blame others for what they go through. They will often resort to violence or anger when confronted.
“Victim Narcissist | How To Deal With Victim Narcissist?” Mantracare.org
In gazing out over the surrealistic PsyWar battleground of social and legacy media, I find that trollery, cyberstalking and smears can often be understood from a purely transactional framework. By that, I mean that there are political, power or financial interests which are being pursued by one party relative to another via media-based aggression. A transaction takes place on-line, in which one person or group seeks to gain some benefit by generating controversy or degrading the reputation of another. Benefits can include delegitimization and suppression of voices in opposition to the narrative scaffold promoted by the group being supported by an agent-troll, or can involve direct benefits to those engaging in trollery, cyberstalking or smears. Examples of direct benefit include clicks, likes, follows, Substack subscriptions or other gains in power, influence, and financial compensation (including corporate or governmental sponsorship!) - as one set of examples.
I have previously covered these topics in many essays, for example “Sins of Information Warfare”, Well Being: Stoking Rage (Business Models Based on Fear and Rage are bad for your health), Purveyors of Hate, and a series of articles covering Fifth Generation Warfare going back to late 2022 (Welcome to Fifth Gen (Information) Warfare; Front Lines on the Fifth Generation Warfare; 5th-Gen Warfare Terms and Tactics; Leprosy - Fearporn, Facts and Fiction; PsyWars: Fifth Generation Warfare and Sovereignty; Fifth Generation Warfare, Part 2; Hate Ecosystem and Fifth Gen Warfare, among many others). But despite the research, years of direct personal experience and countless hours invested in writing about PsyWar, Cognitive Warfare, propaganda, defamation, and internet Trollery, I am still troubled by what I observe on the web and in my daily life. Troubled about what all of this teaches us concerning our modern culture and the current state of mankind.
The dysfunctional behaviors which one generally observes as aggressive Trollery are only partially explained by transactional interactions in which there are winners and losers. I have a nagging sense that in many cases there is also something deeper going on, something having to do with basic psychology and psychopathology which can help explain one particular type of Trollery. In specific, I am referring to the intersection of the malignant metastasizing narcissism which has become a key characteristic of much of modern society, and the odd emergent obsession with victimhood and self-victimization which has also become a dominant western cultural theme. Since this is clearly a trans-partisan issue, it cannot be explained away as just another characteristic of “Wokeism” or “Far-Right Conspiracy Thinking”. These behaviors have their roots in the widespread and growing cultural trend of rampant narcissism, which can be readily observed across all political groups.
With his work updating and extending the observations of Hannah Arendt, Joost Meerloo, and so many others concerning the origins of totalitarianism and the brainwashing/“Nudge” technology/hypnosis/propaganda which typically enables totalitarian political systems, Dr. Mattias Desmet emphasizes the role of widespread social isolation as a precursor condition which facilitates the mass formation (or mass psychosis) phenomenon at the center of much of his research and findings concerning the psychology of totalitarianism. To a large extent, his work relates to the effects of modern social structures and technologies in fostering individual social isolation.
Personally, I find Dr. Desmet’s theories particularly helpful in finding a path towards enabling empathy and forgiveness for those who have been functionally hypnotized during the COVIDcrisis. It is now well documented that this “hypnosis” has been powered by the combination of both emergent unplanned consequences of modern technological trends and the intentional deployment of fear and other PsyWar social engineering to manipulate individuals and groups. That said, when considering those responsible for the deployed psychological and cognitive warfare strategies and tactics, I experience loathing rather than empathy. The political and professional willingness to aggressively deploy fear via modern media as a means to intentionally manipulate populations and individuals (and children!) is an ethical perversion.
But there is more to what I observe on a daily basis on the internet, more than the effects of mass formation. In a small subset of individual Trolls, I frequently observe a strange pattern of chronic, unrelenting hating on specific individuals who become the targets of obsessive attacks and blaming.
Most of those who have fallen victim to becoming consumed by obsessive hate have narcissistic characteristics, or otherwise fall within the trio of “Dark Triad” personality traits. My experience has been that many but not all of these obsessive haters share a common personality profile. In addition to a wide variety of underlying narcissistic tendencies including lack of empathy and a grandiose sense of self importance, they often share the narcissistic defense mechanism of projection coupled with self-victimization (which may be either real or contrived). I could name multiple independent examples of individuals who display these personality features in their attacks on myself or others, but will forego naming because naming them only provokes further attacks, outbursts, and self-victimization. At one level, there will always be a small subset of those who are not well adjusted (psychologically) for a variety of reasons, and it comes as no surprise that those whose maladjustment causes them to seek attention will haunt social and mainstream media.
These people are victim narcissists. They do not enjoy good mental health, and appear to be drawn to social media in an attempt to satisfy the dysfunctional emotional needs associated with their personality disorder.
By indulging and supporting their patterns of Trollery, their followers encourage them to persist in damaging both themselves and promoting the development of a victim mentality in the followers themselves. Beware of becoming one of those followers who encourage and support these self-victimizing narcissists. Those who buy into the psychopathology and accept the readily demonstrated aggressive improbable falsehoods and narcissistic projections as fact risk joining the Troll in this psychopathology.
These people who follow victim narcissist Trolls are harder for me to understand, and I still wrestle with what this implies for those seeking a better future and “More Perfect Union” for all. Are they just getting vicarious dopamine hits or some personal validation of their own narcissistic self-victimization? Perhaps you have insights into this which you can teach to me?
An article in PsychCentral titled “Why Do Narcissistic Personalities Play the Victim?” provides details of the thought disorders underlying this particular form of psychopathology. You may have seen these signs and symptoms displayed on the internet by those practicing this particular strain of Trollery.
Research from 2003 suggests that people high in narcissism may see themselves as victims of interpersonal transgressions more often than people not living with the disorder. In a 2020 qualitative study, relatives of people with narcissistic personalities reported that their loved ones often showed a victim mentality. Whether narcissists really feel like a victim or just play the victim role to tweak social interactions to their benefit isn’t always clear.
If you’ve ever been in a relationship with someone with narcissistic personality disorder, you may have noticed that they lack both self-awareness and self-reflection. In general, people with narcissistic personalities have a difficult time being aware of their behaviors and how these affect others. They might not be able to “see it” even when you point it out to them.
This is why they might feel attacked when you contradict them or tell them they’ve done something wrong. This just doesn’t align with their inflated sense of self. This is part of the complexity of narcissistic personality disorder. The tendency to have low introspection combined with an exaggerated sense of superiority may leave them unable to see the situation in a way that doesn’t fit their worldview. As a result, they may “play the victim role” in some scenarios.
Why a narcissist plays the victim may be directly connected to some of the symptoms of NPD <ergo narcissistic personality disorder>
sense of entitlement
denial and low insight
projection
need for control
In “The Narcissist's Airtight Victim Narrative”, Psychology Today covers how victimhood is a less obvious form of narcissistic grandiosity.
A primary pathology of the narcissistic personality is delusional grandiosity. This is most obviously displayed as arrogant entitlement, but exaggerated victimhood is another persistent feature of narcissistic grandiosity that can be hard to detect and even harder to understand.
Why Narcissists See Themselves as Victims
Let's take a closer look at the narcissist's delusional sense of victimization. Why do they see themselves this way?
Feelings of Deprivation. Psychologically, the narcissistic personality operates from a perspective of deprivation, believing there is never enough deference to their feelings, needs, and specialness. Narcissists' sense of deprivation derives from an underdeveloped identity, an inability to validate their self-worth internally, and a compensatory delusion of superiority that creates cognitive dissonance between reality and their exaggerated expectations of what life owes them.
Hypersensitivity. Because of their notorious emotional reactivity and hypersensitivity to not getting what they believe they deserve, whether it be attention, compliance, admiration, or forms of service, narcissists frequently experience feelings of unfairness or even persecution. The ordinary slights and setbacks we all endure are for the narcissistic personality enraging affronts to their sense of self-importance.
Lack of Empathy. Narcissists' lack of emotional empathy means they rarely if ever look at situations from any perspective but their own and habitually see themselves as the wronged party when there is disappointment or conflict in their relationships.
Victim Identity. People scapegoated in childhood in a narcissistic family system who develop a narcissistic personality often strongly identify as victims and continue to frame their experiences that way in their adult relationships. An all-encompassing sense of victimization, common in the more covert type of narcissist, becomes the organizing principle of the self. This type appears far less showboating and more vulnerable than the overt narcissist, but they share the same underlying personality structure, including feelings of superiority and repressed shame (splitting), destructive envy, and an impoverishment of empathy for others.
Why Narcissists Use the Victim Stance
Narcissists' compulsion to frame their experience as unjust and to take the victim stance stems from their underlying instability and compensatory grandiosity. But playing up the part of the tragically wronged victim is also a manipulative strategy that serves their desire to control others and sidestep accountability for their opportunistic and abusive behavior.
Pity Ploys. Because narcissists are heavily dependent on others for validation of self and believe they should be catered to, posturing as the victim of uncaring people or unfair circumstances is a common narcissistic strategy for invoking guilt and getting attention, sympathy, or caregiving. Empathetic types of people can be especially susceptible to narcissists' victim narratives, which often involve damaging distortions, omissions, and outright lies about their family members, friends, or coworkers. Many narcissists become so skilled at portraying themselves as long-suffering victims of awful exes or ungrateful adult children that they succeed in alienating them from other family and community members who buy into the narcissists' devastating character assassinations.
Victim Blaming. Empty, alienated, envious, and contemptuous, narcissists are relational antagonists who exploit and demean others to manage their emotions and prop up their self-esteem. Developmentally immature, they rely heavily on the childhood defenses of denial and projection. The most pernicious aspect of narcissistic false victimhood is victim blaming, a form of projection whereby the narcissist behaves abusively toward someone and then accuses that person of abusing them.
So, how do you recognize and define victim narcissists when you encounter them in either your daily life or on-line, and how should you deal with them? For the answers to these questions, lets turn to an essay from MantraCare.org which specifically addresses the issue of “How To Deal With Victim Narcissist?”.
Who Are Victim Narcissists?
A victim narcissist is someone with a problem identifying what’s going on in relationships. This is particularly when it pertains to them being victimized by others. They typically see themselves as blameless and vulnerable. However, at times they might also be seen as very aggressive or harmful. It can be because of how much damage that they do to other individuals.
How to Recognize a Victim Narcissist
Here is a summary of some of the signs of a victim narcissist:
Have To Be Right: They feel the need to be right all of the time, even if it means putting their own needs last. This often makes them come across as argumentative and hostile because they are always looking for a way to win an altercation. <This need to be right relates to the common trollery tactic of “sealioning”.>
Victim Card: They love to play the victim card in order to get what they want from others or make themselves feel better about a situation that’s gone wrong. They will often tell elaborate stories that paint them in a positive light while making everyone else look bad, even if these stories aren’t true.
Attention seeker: They constantly crave attention which can manifest itself in different ways such as being dramatic, seeking out sympathy, or even becoming aggressive when they don’t get the attention that they feel entitled to.
Never Take Responsibility: They never take responsibility for their own actions and always blame other people. This makes it impossible for them to change because they don’t see anything wrong with their behavior as a result of this type of thinking.
Lack Empathy: They have a hard time feeling empathy for others, which means that they will never truly understand the pain that they cause when hurting someone else. They may even laugh or smile while being cruel since none of this feels real to them so it’s difficult to comprehend what having an emotional connection actually feels like from inside themselves.
Types of Victim Narcissist
There are different types of victim narcissists. These include the following.
Tyrannical victim narcissist: This type is focused on making others feel bad so they can look better to themselves and those around them. They are always the ones who have been wronged in some way or another by other people. This makes it impossible for them to be held accountable for their own actions. It is because everything that happens to them just seems like part of life’s plan. This is rather than personal responsibility. Their goal is usually centered on causing harm with no regard whatsoever for what this may do to the person whom they’re hurting. You will find different types within this group which include bullies, tyrants, sociopaths and martyrs.
Neglected victim narcissistic personality: This type of victim narcissist is someone who feels like they were never given the love and attention that they needed as a child which has led to them feeling empty and alone most of their lives. They tend to look for validation from others in order to feel good about themselves, but since this is something that’s always been elusive it often leads to disappointment. As a result, they can become very needy and demanding when it comes to relationships.
Victims of abuse as children: These individuals are some of the most damaged because their trust was violated at an early age by someone who was supposed to be taking care of them. This can leave lasting scars that make it difficult for them to form healthy relationships as they grow older. There is a strong chance that these types of people will be very mistrusting and quick to say hurtful things about others who have done nothing wrong in order to push them away, regardless of the fact that this might cause needless pain.
And most importantly, How Should You Deal With Victim Narcissist Trolls?
Avoid Taking Them Seriously: You should avoid taking victim narcissists seriously because they will only cause you more pain and suffering if you do. They are best left alone, but it’s always better to stand up for yourself when necessary instead of allowing the victim narcissist to walk all over you.
Be Honest With Yourself: It can be difficult not to take things personally with someone like this, but it is important that you learn how to separate their issues from your own.
Use Boundaries Effectively And Set Limits: You should set limits by using boundaries effectively in order to get through any interactions with these types of people.
Understand That They Cannot Be Changed: It’s important to understand that victim narcissists cannot be changed. They will likely never have the capacity to love another person in a healthy manner no matter how hard they may try on their own. These people are often very unhappy themselves.
Try To Have Compassion: It can be difficult to have compassion for someone who routinely acts to hurt others. Try to remember that they are suffering too and that they may not even be aware of the pain they are causing.
Avoid Contacting Them: The best thing you can do with the victim narcissist is to avoid all contact as much as possible. If they are in your life or in your social media information stream, try everything within reason to remove them.
I can personally assure you that victim narcissist Trolls can be difficult to deal with at times, and I often struggle with how to respond to their on-line hate, lies and defamation. But in the end, there are no effective options other than avoidance and blocking. These people do not have good mental health, lack both self-awareness and empathy, and cannot be “fixed” by anything you do or write (including attempts at legal action to stop their on-line defamatory statements).
This type of Trollery can be very destructive, and so it is no surprise that people with this category of personality disorder are actively sought out by corporate, government, “intelligence” or military PsyWar/Cognitive warfare sponsors seeking to sow discord or promote hate against targeted individuals or groups.
There are many treatment options for these people available that may or may not work, but they will rarely seek treatment because they are in denial that they have a problem dealing with others and the world around them.
It’s important that everyone interacting in the modern PsyWar battlescape of media and particularly social media learns about these types of people. Remember that this type of Troll can also be quite dangerous if they’ve been given the power and opportunity to take advantage of others including any followers. This is why it’s so important for people not to give them that kind of control over their lives or let them into their own mental space. Protect your own mental health, and choose to focus on personal self-improvement rather than wallowing in the short term dopamine hit addiction which Victim Narcissists love to promote.
In other words, for your own mental health and well being, don’t feed the Trolls.
For those interested in further reading about self victimization versus personal growth, I recommend reading the following article:
Unraveling the Mindset of Victimhood
Focusing on grievances can be debilitating; social science points to a better way
Quick: Rate how much you agree with each of these items on a scale of 1 (“not me at all”) to 5 (“this is so me”):
It is important to me that people who hurt me acknowledge that an injustice has been done to me.
I think I am much more conscientious and moral in my relations with other people compared to their treatment of me.
When people who are close to me feel hurt by my actions, it is very important for me to clarify that justice is on my side.
It is very hard for me to stop thinking about the injustice others have done to me.
If you scored high (4 or 5) on all of these items, you may have what psychologists have identified as a “tendency for interpersonal victimhood.”
Amen! The victim syndrome is ripping America apart.
Losers expect special treatment. DEI -- Didn't Earn It.
In the modern world,
The traditional family is under attack.
The concept of nation has been undermined.
Domestic industry has been substantially gutted/outsourced.
The roles of church and community organizations have been eroded.
Populations have been made subject to quarantines at the whim of the state.
When all these contacts; and activities that involve body, mind, and grasp of reality; are stripped away, what is left but self?
Then throw in a pop culture that caters to our infantilism, consumerism, and preoccupation with our own needs. Narcissism as a widespread phenomenon would seem a predictable result.