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Brad's avatar

I lost my fiance when she overdosed on fentanyl during lockdowns, alone. She was 29.

https://euphoricrecall.substack.com/p/a-sad-soul-can-kill-you-quicker-than

In March 2020, AIER warned of a coming wave of drug overdoses, domestic abuse cases, and suicides based on existing empirical literature on unemployment and sudden financial crisis.

The biggest jump in overdose deaths took place in April and May 2020, when fear and stress were rampant, job losses were multiplying, and the strictest lockdown measures were in effect. For context, it’s important to understand that the vast majority of people who overdose don't intend to do so; it’s not about wanting to hurt oneself, it’s about wanting to not hurt, and the economic dislocation, fraying of social networks, and rise in mental health disorders like anxiety and depression — not to mention the fear stoked by the corporate media’s 24/7 hysteria machine — led many Americans to seek out poisonous ameliorators.

More than 1 million Americans have died from drug overdoses since 2001. And yet even so, beyond the numbing accountancy, the opioid epidemic has failed to impress itself onto America.

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Civil Westman's avatar

Sadly, addiction functions as an abortive attempted "shortcut" to finding a psychically comfortable, meaningful life. Addiction is in large part a spiritual dis-ease. It can be thought of as coincident with the human condition and centers upon our essential human quest for the answer to one of life's central questions: "On whom or what may I depend". Once upon a time, this normal dependency was filled by faith, family and a genuine community. Our culture, unfortunately, has excised these answers to our basic human need for belonging. Fentanyl - or other fast-acting mood-altering chemicals - instantly seem to be the answer to individuals who are spiritually bereft - who have no persons or institutions or God on whom they can depend, come what may. None of what I say here should be construed to excuse addicts from the consequences of their behavior. One of the many useful slogans in the recovery community when it comes to consequences: "There are no victims - only volunteers".

Also not understood is the fact that drugs like fentanyl change the very structure and function of those parts of the brain subserving judgment and decision making. A single use of such a chemical forever impairs the ability to stop craving further use. Many individuals are genetically predisposed to develop craving 'more'. Those individuals are highly likely to become addicts following very brief 'experimentation.' Compare: as children, we are told - "Don't touch the hot coal". We touch it anyway and are burned. Next time we see a hot coal, the first memory is of the pain, so we don't do it again. I used to give this example to addicts in detox and then ask someone in rehab for the 4th time to compare the hot coal to fentanyl. (S)he was once told, "Don't use drugs, they will hurt you.""You used them anyway and immediately felt the best you have ever felt in your entire life!". I then ask, "after you leave rehab and somebody offers you a hit, what is the first thing you are going to remember? Are you going to first remember how awful you are feeling now, in rehab, in withdrawal, with your life a mess? No! The very first thing you will remember will be the very first high you ever got (and never quite achieved again); you will not remember how awful you are feeling right now. This is not how a normal brain works. You are an addict; you have a dis-ease". This usually hit home.

As one cannot volitionally command one's next thought (this is a matter over which we are powerless), one may not exclude the desire to again use fentanyl popping up at any time. Behaviorists correctly understand that addicts must do a long series of volitional actions - like attending 12-step meetings and hanging out with clean/sober friends - and, over time, by changing one's actions, one's thoughts increasingly tend to eschew craving drug use. All this begins with the recognition of the fact that one has suffered defeat at the hands of fentanyl, so as to become willing to ask for help and follow suggestions. Such help is most effective when offered by fellow sufferers who have found a better path to their dependency on chemicals. Long story short, the dependency for fentanyl is replaced by the acceptance/love/belonging (fellowship, in other words, = spirituality) freely given by those who have been there. As one who has been there himself, (clean & sober 31+ years) and one who has worked in the field, I know of what I speak. Unfortunately, I have come to the conclusion that many addicts need a period of enforced safety, where it is physically impossible for them to use (but this is beyond the scope of my points here).

I frequently share with fellow addicts my theory of dependency. Every human being is born dependent on others, usually parents, for our very lives. Were we not fed, clothed, protected, sheltered by others, it is a fact that we would die. Any addict will tell you that when in withdrawal and craving, the fear of not getting a fix is equal to the fear of death ("If I don't get this hit I will die" - it is one of the big lies of addiction, but it is what is felt and believed in withdrawal - whether or not is is articulated). Thus, every one of us is in-formed by this universal experience of dependency; it is imprinted in us, though rarely articulated. The more deep the need we feel, the more out first unspoken model of dependency guides our actions. Many addicts instinctively understand this hypothesis and find it useful. Bottom line: "You can't think your way to sober living. You must live your way to sober thinking". This process takes some time - weeks to months to years; it requires both carrots and sticks. The dis-ease is rightfully said to be psycho-socio-spiritual. Each of these components needs to heal. As is often clear in these pages, the societal element is very sick and not heading in a salutary direction. (Sorry to be long; it is a complex and, as we see here, a lethal problem.

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