109 Comments
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Elaine H's avatar

Love reading your funnies with my cup of coffee!!

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WRE's avatar

How do you do that?? My coffee won't read anything!!! ;-) ;-)

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VictorDianne Watson's avatar

Thanks for the early Friday Funnies. It starts my day with some laughs. Loved the ones about Obama’s comeuppance for the Russian collusion hoax. I refer to him as The Manchurian Candidate.

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Brandy's avatar

Those were funny, but I fear there will be no consequences for his actions and it will all continue.

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VictorDianne Watson's avatar

You are likely right, unfortunately!

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Sandy's avatar

Yes, Trump has already said, you’re welcome for the immunity!

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James Lord's avatar

Meatless meat. Vegetableless vegetables.

The subject of real food.

Ingredients list from Sara Lee Honey Wheat bread:

Enriched wheat flour [flour, malted barley flour, reduced iron, niacin, thiamin mononitrate (vitamin B1), riboflavin (vitamin B2) folic acid], water, honey, whole wheat flour, yeast, wheat gluten, sugar, vegetable oil (soybean), wheat bran, salt, preservatives (calcium propionate, sorbic acid), datem, monoglycerides, cellulose gum, natural flavors, monocalcium phosphate, soy lecithin, citric acid, grain vinegar, sesame seeds.

Ingredients list from the first five loaves I baked in my own oven using my new cast-iron bread pans:

Flour, water, salt, sugar, yeast.

And mine is better.

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Patricia's avatar

Your homemade bread is much better! The seed oils, wheat that has been modified nine times over, & preservatives that are probably chemically treated? Plus all the other bad stuff listed on the “ingredients label”, is a recipe for INFLAMMATION of the gut! I quit buying bread altogether because my gut tells me to! I cannot have, or use any products that have preservatives.

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James Lord's avatar

Yes. And I've become more alert to concerns about GMOs, so I picked organic, non-GMO flour for baking.

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Barbara Lee's avatar

Want a knockout delicious no wheat cookie recipe?

Heat oven to 400 degrees

In a bowl mix

1 1/2 cup almond flour

1/2 cup cassava flour

1/2 cup corn meal

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup sugar

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 cup your favorite nuts

1/2 cup raisins

1 egg

1/2 cup lard or coconut or olive oil

Any of the following flavorings - just pick what you like :

Orange zest and a squeeze of orange juice

Vanilla

Peanut butter

Cinnamon

… whatever

I use a small sherbet scoop to dollop on my cast iron pizza skillet and then bake 12-15 minutes or until suitably crispy or soft as you prefer.

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Patricia's avatar

Yes, I have switched to Cassava flour & have not had any adverse reactions, thankfully!

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Sarah  Jett's avatar

King Arthur has organic flour as does Bob's Red Mill!

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James Lord's avatar

Yep. Used King Arthur.

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California Girl's avatar

Yours is better inspite of Sara Lee adding "natural flavors". Kudos to you for taking the time to type the names of all those ingredients.

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Sandy's avatar

Mine has one more ingredient - a dash of olive oil!

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Sarah  Jett's avatar

Absolutely better! Try a recipe for Irish soda bread!

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James Goodrich's avatar

It’s funny as a little kid I thought there were monsters under my bed. At times I wouldn’t hang my feet over the side thinking they would grab me. Every night my father would come upstairs to check on the four of us, probably to make sure we weren’t horsing around. I’d sometimes ask him to check under my bed and make sure nothing was there. After he looked he’d say everything was good, my mind was at ease, I could sleep.

Years later I realize there are monsters all around us. When I go to bed I toss and turn, I can’t seem to set my mind at ease. My father who I once counted on as a little kid has long since passed away. These monsters are still after our kids, they sicken our families, poison us and rob us, they constantly do their best to deceive us. I usually will pick up my phone and read. I’ll read about people that are fighting the monsters, trying their best to protect us.

Many times I’ll reread one of your posts Dr. Malone, or comments your great subscribers have written. I realize how many people there are fighting these threats. People like yourself that see these threats and write essays to bring them into the light. Many of us share our fears. Some write solutions, or ways to fight. Others write about evils we haven’t known yet, warning us what’s out there. Some of us write uplifting posts trying to give each of us hope. Isn’t the written word amazing and powerful. Before you know it my mind eases and I can sleep. It’s incredible when you realize writers can be hero’s too. J.Goodrich

Hope you all enjoy today! Here’s a great song enjoy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRQb_-mRcAc

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pretty-red, old guy's avatar

James, I had similar dreams, which you resurrected for me. . .

Mine: Once I woke up in the middle of one screaming to my brother on the other side of the room. "There's an alligator under the bed" and then, I "saw" a gorilla coming at me. . . I jumped out of bed and ran to my parents bedroom. . . just before reaching them was this huge figure with open arms. I stopped dead in my tracks, for a quick second, realizing that "OH! that's Dad!"

I will probably never forget that one.

"Thanks for the memories." Ha!

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LoverOfHills's avatar

'Today is where your book begins.'. I forgot about this song. Gonna substitute this phrase - as my new morning mantra. I usually say to myself, simply, it's a new day. This deliberate quick morning mantra really puts my brain at ease. So that no matter the Worrys or Terribleness of yesterday, I'm going forward, Today is new, All things are possible.

Thx, James.

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ComeQuicklyLord's avatar

Great reminder, and I will add you to the list of monster fighters, because you emphasize the qualities of life that makes us better people and citizens. Thanks James!

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pretty-red, old guy's avatar

YES, and I will second that one.

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Patricia's avatar

Yes, I so agree with y’all! We all make decisions daily, & being open to new challenges each day! I choose to better myself & to help direct my grand daughters to also be good children, & listen to their parents!

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James Goodrich's avatar

Thank You CQL!!

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Patricia's avatar

Beautiful song, thank you for sharing, & with an amazing sunrise! I have heard this song many times on the radio stations I listen to, but did not know the musician who sings this! Her words are true to heart! Sometimes I I can’t sleep, & my brain will either have a song in my head I continue to hear; some days, I allow the news stay alive in my thought, & I have to do deep breathing in order to relax! But, the one thing that helps me sleep, is talking to God about all of the things I let bother me- I always ask for his guidance to keep me on track, on a positive path forward…He helps me everyday! Thank you for your thoughts, James. Have a superb weekend!

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Jennifer Beebe's avatar

It is always wonderful to read anything Drs. Malone share and then to connect with all of you and to get your thoughts and encouragement! TEAM MALONE is a great and comforting place to be! ✝️💟❤️🙏🏻🙌🏻

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Barbara Lekowicz's avatar

Team Malone! Love it!

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KC & the Sunshine's avatar

Well said. I very much appreciate this post.

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Patricia's avatar

Absolutely agree! Your name brings my memory to “KC & The Sunshine” band! I do have one of their albums! It is great dancing music!

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KC & the Sunshine's avatar

We are the same age— more or less if you’re a KC and the Sunshine Band fan. I am, too.

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Patricia's avatar

Yes! I’m a baby boomer..Born in 1951!

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Handsome Pristine Patriot's avatar

This is an old one, but.......

A Vegetarian and a Vegan jump off a cliff to see who hits first.

Who wins?

Society.

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Micheal Nash, Ph. D.'s avatar

It has occurred to me that the reason we only have 2 political parties may be that there was not very big philosophical differences between the Founders so that they drifted into fairly stable either/or orientation that lasted into the middle of the 19th century. Then we were gifted with an invasion of socialists fleeing their failed revolutions in europe and brought their sick politics here. Calling themselves progressives they soon found a 3rd party was unfeasible so they set out to worm themselves into the 2 available ones. Wilson proved to be their most pliable protege and he set the table for their virtual subjugation of the democrats today. Not to say they totally failed with republicans. Teddy R. was also infected by the progressives and that germ was invigorated by the socialist new deal programs enacted by his nephew. Its uniparty rinos have adhered in varying degrees to new deal thinking to this very day. Time for cleanup in aisle......

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pretty-red, old guy's avatar

. . . in BOTH aisles.

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Jean's avatar

Just hope we won't be loosing one of our prime combatants! Another 6 years of the present Senator is very unappealing.

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Micheal Nash, Ph. D.'s avatar

Yeah but Paxton has fielded a good team so is good hands when he leaves. And we do not need Cornyn acting like a conservative any more

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Jean's avatar

Not so concerned about the Tex AG position. Just hopin' we all have a winning candidate for the Senate. His opp seems to be aiming for a blood bath.

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Micheal Nash, Ph. D.'s avatar

The dims frantically trying to blue Texas and Abbott has helped immensely. Keeps bragging about all the left coast business he has imported seemingly without a clue that all those employees coming here will vote here just like back home...and are

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Jean's avatar

There is that too!

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Ana González's avatar

I also think that maybe it is because it is more difficult to get a majority when you have more than 2 parties ⁉️‼️⁉️

🤷‍♀️🤷🤷🏻‍♂️

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Brandy's avatar

Yes, I feel like I am 'being watched', especially after I have a phone conversation and then start getting ads on my email for subjects discussed in my phone conversations. I can understand it if I google something, but a conversation.....

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Ana González's avatar

That baffles me too‼️‼️‼️

🤬😠😡

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Warrior1's avatar

Thanks Robert! Have a great weekend!

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ComeQuicklyLord's avatar

OBAMA…Oh Yes, I Remember.

🤔

Obama, the Divider in Chief, was skilled in his craft of sowing discord in America and around the world. I remember his anti-police and racist comments that preceded the “Beer Summit,” and his apology tours, which denigrated America to our enemies and ally’s—he truly hated America.

I remember the “Arab Spring” which was orchestrated by his administration and Intel Community, which was preceded by his Speech in Cairo. President of Egypt Mubarak did not attend, and Obama had leaders of the Muslim Brotherhood on the front row seats signaling that a change was about to happen in Egypt. The “Arab Spring” which was a successful coup to take out Mubarak, almost destabilized Egypt, but was ended when the Egyptian courts stepped in to stop it, but only after a Muslim Brotherhood member was installed in Mubarak’s place.

I remember the bombing of Libya, and the ouster of Qaddafi, which led to the creation and spread of ISSIS—and I remember the Coptic Christians on the shore of Libya, who were beheaded because they refused to denounce Christ, and accept the false god Allah. That is Obama’s legacy, and he orchestrated the beginning of that tragedy—it’s who he is.

I remember the pallets of cash given to Iran right before he left office—flown in by the USAF! Oh yes, I clearly remember Obama. It is my hope that the DOJ will tenaciously investigate, and prosecute Obama and his accomplices, for their treasonous acts against America, which is “We the People.”

Note: Obama had Muslim Brotherhood advisers IN the White House during his presidency. See the link below concerning this terrorist group, which was banned in Egypt and other Muslim nations. IMO, Obama was and is a threat to our nation’s security.

https://www.dailywire.com/news/six-reasons-the-muslim-brotherhood-must-be-banned-in-america

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53rd Chapter's avatar

"Hope and Change." An Axelrodism? In any case, Obama's hope and change were not the same as those of his naive and brainwashed followers. Rather, “Hope we can fool ‘em and that we can change this Allah-forsaken land into a utopia.” Unfortunately, "treason" is not too strong of a word.

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ComeQuicklyLord's avatar

His “transformation of America” was a diabolical plan to take us away from our founding fathers and their principles of freedom.

In my mind, Treason is the only word that expresses his actions as President and post-Presidency. That’s why it’s my hope that the DOJ will not smooth over the rhetoric pertaining to the organized government coup—coups, are his specialty. Egypt and Libya are just two examples.

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53rd Chapter's avatar

Absolutely, but we can’t forget Hillary’s brilliance on Libya. In a conversation with Tony Blair in February, 2011, Gaddafi said, “They [jihadis] want to control the Mediterranean and then they will attack Europe.” Western Europe is discovering to its dismay that Gaddafi was right, and that SoS Hillary Clinton was once again, wrong.

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ComeQuicklyLord's avatar

Not only wrong, but complicit with the destabilization of the Middle East, and as you noted, the impetus to the Muslim invasion of Europe—but the nations in Europe who accepted them in, as if it was a loving thing, destroyed themselves.

There would have to be a mass deportation from the UK and Europe to stop the destruction of Western Civilization in Europe. East Europe fought the invasion and are free, now it’s time for West Europe to man up and do it,

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53rd Chapter's avatar

The phrase, ‘nature abhors a vacuum’ is all too true. The dearth of a vibrant Christian faith in Europe has led to vacuum, one that Islam is more than happy to fill. The recent departure of the Archbishop of Canterbury, what I prefer to call, the Archbury of Canterbishop, was long overdue. The beautiful cathedrals in Europe only represent now what used to be. Someone’s knocking on the door, Europe. You might want to see who who’s there:

"...great is the mystery of godliness:

God was manifested in the flesh,

Justified in the Spirit,

Seen by angels,

Preached among the Gentiles,

Believed on in the world,

Received up in glory."

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Jerry Williams's avatar

I just love all this dirt coming out on Obama, the memes are hilarious. Probably nothing will happen, but I hope Barry, Hillary, Comey, Clapper and Brennen are getting nervous.

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Barbara Charis's avatar

Thanks for another perceptive Friday Funnies! The chickens have finally come home to roost for Obama. He thought he got away with a very rotten deed back in the early days of President Trump's administration, but now its known...and he should pay dearly for what he intentionally did with his deceitful works. It cost America dearly!

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Barbara Lee's avatar

I’m going to go scorched earth now so maybe cover your eyes: I say that he, Comey, Clapper, Brennen, Hilary and anyone else directly involved in this RussiaGate matter be tried for treason publicly, and if found guilty publicly executed by hanging. This is drastic BUT the effect will be huge. All the psychopaths in the deep state, adjacent organizations like NGOs, and media manipulators will jump ship and run into hiding and get the hell out of politics. A renaissance of ethics would replace the disgusting swamp that is currently infecting world leadership.

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D A KESTER's avatar

Social media etc and lampooning like Babylon Bee, South Park, & Malones’ Friday & Sunday Funnies have apparently replaced The infamous Stocks, where miscreants were seated in the town square with arms held down in wooden walls with armholes. So citizens could throw rotten tomatoes etc. ah yes, the good old days.

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Toni Headen's avatar

I wasn’t surprised when it was stated that she had “psycho emotional problems”. I hope it’s from all the poor souls who died after coming directly or indirectly in contact with her and her plans haunting her. When every other person you know dies of “an apparent suicide” you shouldn’t have a moment of peace even when heavily medicated. Psychopath.

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Barbara Lee's avatar

The comment about “cheerfulness” was a bit odd.

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Toni Headen's avatar

There are several videos of her smiling like a hyena , laughing and nodding inappropriately and the famous one of her staring at the balloons like it’s the first time she’s ever seen them that are examples. She appears to be having an epileptic seizure or a TIA.

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D D's avatar

No problem with hanging happening if they are in the same prison as Epstein.

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Ana González's avatar

Barbara, maybe by having that, I can get my children back, who have abandoned me due to who I support⁉️‼️⁉️

🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🤷‍♀️

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Thomas A Braun RPh's avatar

What an amazing life experience. A social activist lawyer is elected to Illinois Senate in 1996 and 12 years later his vision for America gets him elected President of the USA. After 8 years, he retires and now has acquired 5 estates. Major one is on Oahu and is 25 acres and has three massive homes on the property. He was so fortunate to get a 65 million dollar book deal. Wow!

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Melanie Reynolds's avatar

Thank you for the funnies. I like orange man bad and “ When they call us Far Right they mean” we are driving through Arizona moving our son and daughter in law to Queen Creek. We stayed at a dear friends house in a small town by St George Utah and the stupid GPS took us on these narrow winding rough roads where there was not a car in sight and through a burned out area where the road just opened up yesterday from the fire. We passed the firefighters camp sight, past all these burned trees. It has been a day. We want to go to the south rim of the Grand Canyon . We will see. We just stopped at a jewelry stand where a sweet Native American sold me a pair of real stone earrings she had made. Our kids started out later and are on the smarter road. We have seen some beautiful scenery and some very barren wasteland. The road we are on now in so much better than what we were on. Have a great day. We are headed to the place where you can fry an egg on the sidewalk. I think I love my Idaho.

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Norma Odiaga's avatar

Some classic ones for this Friday morning! Thank you!

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Chris Lovett's avatar

Great line up. So "far" we're "right" :-) Thanks for the laughs. I think a lot of people on both sides are underestimating Tulsi Gabbard. She has real gravitas and will shock everyone with her ability to follow through. I hope she will be the next President.

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Dr. Robert W. Malone's avatar

I think Vance has it in the bag (via tradition of the GOP supporting VPs for the candidacy, if for no other reason) - my hope for Tulsi is VP!

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Diana Woodward's avatar

Me too, but I love Ron DeSantis, really think he would make such an excellent Potus.

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mike's avatar

I look forward to the Friday Funnies. Great fun. Oh, by-the-way, his name should be pronounced "coal-bert" not "coal-bare". Thank you.

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