These are some great funnies. I watched the baby video and memories or should I say night mares came flooding back. My daughter and her nephew who are 5 days apart in age , got in my flour bin and dumped out about 10 lbs of flour onto the flour. They were sitting in the middle of the flour eating it. My 4 th child is called little Houdini. He could get out of everything. He crawled out of his crib at 22 months old in the middle of the night . He went into the refrigerator got the milk out. , threw a dozen eggs around the room and brought the milk into the bedroom because he wanted a drink of milk. I couldn’t keep that child in his room at night. I tried those door knob covers so the kids can’t turn the door knob. He would get the tied on cover off and beat me down the hall. I finally figured out that if I turned the lock around , I could lock his door from the outside . He couldn’t get out but I could get in. I put my purse on top of the fridge so that same son couldn’t reach them. He climb onto the counter, climb up onto the fridge and got my purse down. He took my keys and went into the garage,
found the correct key and started the car. I heard a big crash . I opened the door out to the garage and there was the car right up to the door. It was a standard shift car so when he started the engine it leapt forward and hit the house. Now he did these naughty things when I had just left the room for 5 min. He was fast . We put a slide lock on the front door at the very top because he could unlock a dead bolt. He was piling chairs and everything he could find to get up high enough to slide the lock. He was fast. But he survived to adulthood without even a broken bone. I hope you enjoyed my baby stories. Have a great day!
Oh by the way my son majored in Safety engineering 😂
great Story Melanie!. . . and here I thought I was kind of wild. Heard stories from my parents that they covered my crib with chicken wire so I could not escape.
Nooooo belt or switch. One of my sons would take off unpacking lots. Just running. I would run after him. I told him a car would get smashed like a bug and I would smash a bug. He just looked at me and said I’m stronger than a car. Well I had an idea that came to me. I filled a milk jug with water and red food coloring. I had him watch with his dad. I ran over the jug of red water. It squirted the snow red. I told him that is what would happen if he got hit by a car.. He never did it again.
When Joey was 5, and we were renting a place in GA, he and his cousin were "splorin" the unlocked basement. Joey cam running up the stairs, yelling he found a gun.
THAT was his gun safety training for that age. Get dad! Turned out it was not, but it did look like a gun.
As a sidebar, I did invent and make a "KidStopper GSD", that I put in any pistol in the house, that was not locked up. Quit using them when all his friends were 18. If you can find it on YouTube or Rumble, feel free to make one. I plan, someday, to get off my ass and sell some at a gun show.
You all survived thank God. I was not amused by the video. It was painful to watch. OMG every time a child hits himself I felt the pain vicariously. I cannot imagine my house getting extremely mess up like what the video had shown. I have adult kids now. Whew.
Santa gave me a green rubber spatula in my stocking. 3 boys knew when the spatula was in my hand, they best watch and listen, or at least pretend. It accidentally broke while getting their attention (and in my fury) I slammed in on the counter. The boys remember, as I do, the end popping off and hitting said provocateur in the face from 6 ft. away. It got their attention all right!
My Mom had a left backhand that seemed to come out of nowhere. The upside was that by the time I was 12, nobody could hit me in the face and I had impeccable manners in any situation. The fact that I didn't exercise them was entirely my fault and not hers. On Mothers' Day of my 35th year, I went out to the family manse and thanked her profusely for inculcating me with the ability to function in polite society which in my "Golden Years" I try to avoid as much as possible.
I was a "challenging" child and, to her credit, I never required medical attention from her hands on discipline even when the closest thing to hand was a garbage can lid. It was kinda like a variation of Johnny Cash's "A Boy Named Sue".
As a side note, the hardest part of Basic Training was keeping a straight face.
Lilac bush is nothing to belittle; strong, hard and snappy and Irish Blackthorn (Hazelwood), sometimes called "cement wood", is frequently used for Shillelaghs.
after a while, you begin to recognize that "god nudge" when it happens,
rue the day you don't listen.
I had an encounter at the hosp, with a patient that was DNR. God told me to bring her back, and I did, and she had a complete recovery, and went home for a few more good years.
this was the same hospital I took some "ghost pics" in, and man, I wish I could post pics here. There is still no mundane explanation how those face images got all over that patients window, OVERNIGHT!
I don't think they forget, they just don't have any reality on the carnage left in war's wake, but if reporters would show it up close, not blurred out, there would a huge outcry from the public and war would end. No one in their right mind would want to participate in it anymore.
It appears that Hamas and Hezbola have not yet had enough. For every Palestinian sympathizer (and who wouldn’t feel sorry for them) there’s a cry for death from the River to the sea. Peace comes to peace makers and death and destruction come to those who love to hate. It seems a hopeless situation not easily solved by man’s will alone. I pray for God to intervene.
While the moronic dem sens. are screwing around with Patel's nomination what is to keep Bondi from doing what they are trying to prevent? She has a much greater reach.
Hopefully, Pam will investigate - GEORGE SOROS - who back in 1961 - when he came to the USA and swore upon the Bible to "Uphold the US Constitution" - has instead been undermining that sacred document and implement his evil wet-dream of a "world without borders" and STRIP Soros of his citizenship and DE-PORT the bastard!
Dems are just delaying the inevitable as long as they can, but as Elon is showing, the corruption is astounding and the only ones running scared and having tantrums are the democRATs!
But she wields the bigger club which is why I called them morons. Their obstruction is a tell and any good poker player jumps on a tell like a frog on a bug. Bet Bondi a mean poker player.
That "babysitting fails" went on 'way too long! As a mother of 4, grandmother of 18, it brought back an avalanche of memories. After a couple of minutes, my brain was screaming "Make it stop!"
Money-laundering Government Bureaucrat #1: "You say they're bringing in the cash? Oh good, 'cause we've already squandered the bundles that came in on the truck yesterday. And those tranny workshops in Burma and Mozambique wiped us out.
Money-laundering Government Bureaucrat #2: "No, you don't understand. They're bringing in Kash. Not good at all."
Money-laundering Government Bureaucrat #1: "I see. It seems we have but two Wrays of hope: Democrats and shredders."
Dear Dr. Malone & Jill, You are extra ever punchier on your Fri and Sunday Funnies. Today is a Charmer!! Usually 3-4 are prime. Today all but a few today are deluxe from my view!
I may forward best by copy-paste to some former friends who now despise me knowing we voted for Trump so I send a few from time to time to assure that I will never see them again!
What a great idea regarding letting former friends know we're irredeemable. So hard to choose which Funny to use. I'll likely go with Bishop Elizabeth Warren lifting up the sacred vax needle. I'm pretty sure "friends" who've denounced me and my partner for our heretical views are big-time Warren fans.
Carol, Thanks so much for your comments! I also thought that the E Warren was a close tie for #1 !!! I have an old dear friend living in Edmonds, WA. I knew him when we were very conservative in the 80's. I visited him this summer after 15 years with some other old formerly conservative very intelligent friends. I soon find out that they all despise Trump and cannot offer any sane reason why they would vote Biden or Harris-Walz. They just hate Trump! I am from MN can talk for a week about how Walz entire life is a lie and MN is in serious trouble, and he is proud of it. He blew 18 billion in tax surplus, raised taxes in 2024 and hire 3000 more MN State Gov hyper left unelected bureaucrats all pro Trans and worse. They said Walz would be a better President than Trump, which exposes that Harris is also hopelessly unqualified for anything her entire life!!! Wow. Have an awesome year Carol... I am !!
What happened to Washington state? We moved to our tree farm in Oregon in 1994, from Kirkland, Wa. All of our former high school friends and friends we made till we moved, are all haters of Trump, everyone of them.
Oregon is not far behind WA, we are in a very red county, with a Constitutional Sheriff in charge, but the state government just keeps getting worse and worse.
Diana... I would explore Southwestern South Dakota... Kristi Noem has held up her version of a state-wide banner of the US Constitution for nearly a decade and as you know is now in WDC on the Trump Tackle and render ever more useless the enemies of America within and beyond the USA borders.
South Dakota? I was born in southern CA, lived in Washington state for about 15 years, middle school and high school, marriage and then a young family, we then moved to Oregon for warmer climate and to grow a bigger garden. We are looking for warmth, Idaho is the only state I would consider north of here, otherwise it has got to be the warmer south. Weather might trump politics now at my age.
Diane, Thanks + for your response to my admiration of J & J's vigorous dedication to the grand exposure of ... oh so much in Wash DC! Your dilemma is near and dear to me as I intended to move to either WA or OR after I left the USAF in 1977. Regardless, I so love the Pacific NW and have visited for business and recreation many dozens of times since then. However. prior to the COVID commotion, in 2019 and also now, I became astonished that former very conservative friends had come under the influence of WOKE left and I was unable to even talk about what hit them in the head!! Oh Well, as my mother said many times " It was Fun while it lasted"
So hilarious! (I am embarrassed to admit it took me a couple blinks to realize it was talking about February....) What can I say? It's Friday. 🤣
Omgosh the left's meltdown over Elon is hysterical. The posts I'm seeing on my local Congressman's Facebook page is unbelievable! It's obvious the Democrats are pushing (and paying, probably) for people to hound their Congressmen. But we just keep posting back this is exactly why Trump was elected and why he won the vote and the popular vote, and we got the House and Senate. He's doing exactly what he promised to do. (Thank God!)
These are some great funnies. I watched the baby video and memories or should I say night mares came flooding back. My daughter and her nephew who are 5 days apart in age , got in my flour bin and dumped out about 10 lbs of flour onto the flour. They were sitting in the middle of the flour eating it. My 4 th child is called little Houdini. He could get out of everything. He crawled out of his crib at 22 months old in the middle of the night . He went into the refrigerator got the milk out. , threw a dozen eggs around the room and brought the milk into the bedroom because he wanted a drink of milk. I couldn’t keep that child in his room at night. I tried those door knob covers so the kids can’t turn the door knob. He would get the tied on cover off and beat me down the hall. I finally figured out that if I turned the lock around , I could lock his door from the outside . He couldn’t get out but I could get in. I put my purse on top of the fridge so that same son couldn’t reach them. He climb onto the counter, climb up onto the fridge and got my purse down. He took my keys and went into the garage,
found the correct key and started the car. I heard a big crash . I opened the door out to the garage and there was the car right up to the door. It was a standard shift car so when he started the engine it leapt forward and hit the house. Now he did these naughty things when I had just left the room for 5 min. He was fast . We put a slide lock on the front door at the very top because he could unlock a dead bolt. He was piling chairs and everything he could find to get up high enough to slide the lock. He was fast. But he survived to adulthood without even a broken bone. I hope you enjoyed my baby stories. Have a great day!
Oh by the way my son majored in Safety engineering 😂
great Story Melanie!. . . and here I thought I was kind of wild. Heard stories from my parents that they covered my crib with chicken wire so I could not escape.
Nice, I tried to get a remote controlled doggy shock collar for my little boy, but my wife nixed that.
My dad just had a belt. Mom had a switch. They both worked real well.
Most of the time, just them moving a hand near those behavior control devices usually worked.
Nooooo belt or switch. One of my sons would take off unpacking lots. Just running. I would run after him. I told him a car would get smashed like a bug and I would smash a bug. He just looked at me and said I’m stronger than a car. Well I had an idea that came to me. I filled a milk jug with water and red food coloring. I had him watch with his dad. I ran over the jug of red water. It squirted the snow red. I told him that is what would happen if he got hit by a car.. He never did it again.
In a parking lot
excellent example of real world consequences. I did that with a large squash, and the pistol. My son learned that day that guns are not toys.
. . . when he saw the hole on the BACK side!
in that particular case, it just exploded.
When Joey was 5, and we were renting a place in GA, he and his cousin were "splorin" the unlocked basement. Joey cam running up the stairs, yelling he found a gun.
THAT was his gun safety training for that age. Get dad! Turned out it was not, but it did look like a gun.
As a sidebar, I did invent and make a "KidStopper GSD", that I put in any pistol in the house, that was not locked up. Quit using them when all his friends were 18. If you can find it on YouTube or Rumble, feel free to make one. I plan, someday, to get off my ass and sell some at a gun show.
You all survived thank God. I was not amused by the video. It was painful to watch. OMG every time a child hits himself I felt the pain vicariously. I cannot imagine my house getting extremely mess up like what the video had shown. I have adult kids now. Whew.
Santa gave me a green rubber spatula in my stocking. 3 boys knew when the spatula was in my hand, they best watch and listen, or at least pretend. It accidentally broke while getting their attention (and in my fury) I slammed in on the counter. The boys remember, as I do, the end popping off and hitting said provocateur in the face from 6 ft. away. It got their attention all right!
I think mothers of "boys" are just made. . . tougher.
I have 4 boys and 2 girls.
and a great lesson in unintended consequences.
My Mom had a left backhand that seemed to come out of nowhere. The upside was that by the time I was 12, nobody could hit me in the face and I had impeccable manners in any situation. The fact that I didn't exercise them was entirely my fault and not hers. On Mothers' Day of my 35th year, I went out to the family manse and thanked her profusely for inculcating me with the ability to function in polite society which in my "Golden Years" I try to avoid as much as possible.
nice, the golden gloves method of disciplining your child.
and the hand face coordination skills, superb.
I was a "challenging" child and, to her credit, I never required medical attention from her hands on discipline even when the closest thing to hand was a garbage can lid. It was kinda like a variation of Johnny Cash's "A Boy Named Sue".
As a side note, the hardest part of Basic Training was keeping a straight face.
good lord, I cannot imagine the pain from a sgt that saw you laughing.
My great aunt had a peach tree so awesome I thought it should be considered in weapon control talks. Kept me under control
good lord, your parents meant business. I thought a weeping willow branch was bad.
Lilac bush is nothing to belittle; strong, hard and snappy and Irish Blackthorn (Hazelwood), sometimes called "cement wood", is frequently used for Shillelaghs.
What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? A shillelagh.
Originally, a stick, but I like the Irish version better.
All we had to do was rattle the wooden spoons in the kitchen drawer and the behavior problem self-resolved.
nice, using sound to control behavior. My dad never did figure out how to make a belt sliding off more noisy.
although, hearing him get out of the chair, not during a commercial, was a great warning,
Too funny
That is pretty innovative. You get desperate.
LMAO, PROG!
Seems cages should be brought back?
😂
Or an empty room?
one time I went ballistic and took all of joeys stuff out of his room.
he slowly earned it back, and discovered some things he no longer needed.
today, he is my eagle scout, finished undergrad in 3 years, working now till he gets into med school
HOOWAH!
funny you should say that........
That’s an amazing bunch of stories!! God had to be helping all of you!
after a while, you begin to recognize that "god nudge" when it happens,
rue the day you don't listen.
I had an encounter at the hosp, with a patient that was DNR. God told me to bring her back, and I did, and she had a complete recovery, and went home for a few more good years.
really, holy shit amazing
Miracles do happen!
yep, and if you are aware, you can watch them
this was the same hospital I took some "ghost pics" in, and man, I wish I could post pics here. There is still no mundane explanation how those face images got all over that patients window, OVERNIGHT!
A real life sit-com! Amazing.
As always, the funnies are so creative. “Hell yeah I voted for this and it’s better than I expected.”
Another winning week.
My fav: Get in. We're taking down Big Pharma.
Money laundering will now be called foreign aid!👍❤️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ahem,
Did you hear the tragic story, of the 2 red blood cells, that fell in love??
It turned out, their love, was all in vein.
Happy Valentines Day folks, enjoy time spent with your favorite loved ones.
Good one!
https://open.substack.com/pub/captroyharkness/p/gaza-from-space?r=1lmdet&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
This is a picture of Gaza, posted on sub stack by Captain Roy Harkness, from his friend in Africa. There’s nothing left of Gaza…
That was the goal from day one. As long as the hatred and death to all Jews exists there will be more of the same.
Great pic.
Demo is done - time to build:!with Islamic money: Gaza-A-Lago?!
Gives me hope for Connecticut:
Karen-A-Lago.
Rubble and unexploded bombs.
Keep bombing the ruble!!! There’s still a few left there….
and dismembered bodies of babies, men, women, children, animals....their blood
And hostages…
Yes people seem to forget, I don’t…
I don't think they forget, they just don't have any reality on the carnage left in war's wake, but if reporters would show it up close, not blurred out, there would a huge outcry from the public and war would end. No one in their right mind would want to participate in it anymore.
It appears that Hamas and Hezbola have not yet had enough. For every Palestinian sympathizer (and who wouldn’t feel sorry for them) there’s a cry for death from the River to the sea. Peace comes to peace makers and death and destruction come to those who love to hate. It seems a hopeless situation not easily solved by man’s will alone. I pray for God to intervene.
Nah James, still some green spots left. A great idea:
-- rebuild the green spots and one mile in from the coast-- ONLY.
-- Leave the 5 main "catastrophes" for 20 years as a reminder.
-- Rebuild the coast to look like Bharain.
Stark contrasts will wake folks up.
That was the plan.
That is truly amazing. Hopefully President Donald Trump (I even like typing the name) will put an end to ALL of it.
While the moronic dem sens. are screwing around with Patel's nomination what is to keep Bondi from doing what they are trying to prevent? She has a much greater reach.
Hopefully, Pam will investigate - GEORGE SOROS - who back in 1961 - when he came to the USA and swore upon the Bible to "Uphold the US Constitution" - has instead been undermining that sacred document and implement his evil wet-dream of a "world without borders" and STRIP Soros of his citizenship and DE-PORT the bastard!
Agree!!!!
Let's not forget that George Soros - and his son Johnathan are "CFR" members.
The anchor baby?
Yes! Another one world order idiot!
Dems are just delaying the inevitable as long as they can, but as Elon is showing, the corruption is astounding and the only ones running scared and having tantrums are the democRATs!
Bondi has a greater reach, but Patel will have the throat of the beast in his hands. The Obama/Biden FBI is the new KGB/Gestapo.
IT IS VERY DANGEROUS. IT MUST BE DECENTRALIZED, MOVED FROM THE DC SWAMP, AND HELD ACCOUNTABLE.
But she wields the bigger club which is why I called them morons. Their obstruction is a tell and any good poker player jumps on a tell like a frog on a bug. Bet Bondi a mean poker player.
That "babysitting fails" went on 'way too long! As a mother of 4, grandmother of 18, it brought back an avalanche of memories. After a couple of minutes, my brain was screaming "Make it stop!"
Future Democrats...lol!
Thanks for the laugh on No Coffee! Lol, No Coffee = bad!
Money-laundering Government Bureaucrat #1: "You say they're bringing in the cash? Oh good, 'cause we've already squandered the bundles that came in on the truck yesterday. And those tranny workshops in Burma and Mozambique wiped us out.
Money-laundering Government Bureaucrat #2: "No, you don't understand. They're bringing in Kash. Not good at all."
Money-laundering Government Bureaucrat #1: "I see. It seems we have but two Wrays of hope: Democrats and shredders."
Oh this is way too good! Kash. Yes!
On point 👍
The Adam Rose "babysitting" Fails is terrifying. This video may lead to a sharp decline in the birth rate.
Doesn’t even take that! A Dem rep already said she “sterilized” herself because Trump is the President! Yay! No more “stupids” from her!
Lol! I wonder about the people filming these!
The video of out-of-control toddlers should end with the adult agreeing that children know best and should be free to consent to pediatric sex change.
Dear Dr. Malone & Jill, You are extra ever punchier on your Fri and Sunday Funnies. Today is a Charmer!! Usually 3-4 are prime. Today all but a few today are deluxe from my view!
I may forward best by copy-paste to some former friends who now despise me knowing we voted for Trump so I send a few from time to time to assure that I will never see them again!
Why not. They despise you anyway. My friends just avoid me like the plague. Even some in my family!
What a great idea regarding letting former friends know we're irredeemable. So hard to choose which Funny to use. I'll likely go with Bishop Elizabeth Warren lifting up the sacred vax needle. I'm pretty sure "friends" who've denounced me and my partner for our heretical views are big-time Warren fans.
Carol, Thanks so much for your comments! I also thought that the E Warren was a close tie for #1 !!! I have an old dear friend living in Edmonds, WA. I knew him when we were very conservative in the 80's. I visited him this summer after 15 years with some other old formerly conservative very intelligent friends. I soon find out that they all despise Trump and cannot offer any sane reason why they would vote Biden or Harris-Walz. They just hate Trump! I am from MN can talk for a week about how Walz entire life is a lie and MN is in serious trouble, and he is proud of it. He blew 18 billion in tax surplus, raised taxes in 2024 and hire 3000 more MN State Gov hyper left unelected bureaucrats all pro Trans and worse. They said Walz would be a better President than Trump, which exposes that Harris is also hopelessly unqualified for anything her entire life!!! Wow. Have an awesome year Carol... I am !!
What happened to Washington state? We moved to our tree farm in Oregon in 1994, from Kirkland, Wa. All of our former high school friends and friends we made till we moved, are all haters of Trump, everyone of them.
Oregon is not far behind WA, we are in a very red county, with a Constitutional Sheriff in charge, but the state government just keeps getting worse and worse.
Moving again, not sure where yet.
Diana... I would explore Southwestern South Dakota... Kristi Noem has held up her version of a state-wide banner of the US Constitution for nearly a decade and as you know is now in WDC on the Trump Tackle and render ever more useless the enemies of America within and beyond the USA borders.
South Dakota? I was born in southern CA, lived in Washington state for about 15 years, middle school and high school, marriage and then a young family, we then moved to Oregon for warmer climate and to grow a bigger garden. We are looking for warmth, Idaho is the only state I would consider north of here, otherwise it has got to be the warmer south. Weather might trump politics now at my age.
Diane, Thanks + for your response to my admiration of J & J's vigorous dedication to the grand exposure of ... oh so much in Wash DC! Your dilemma is near and dear to me as I intended to move to either WA or OR after I left the USAF in 1977. Regardless, I so love the Pacific NW and have visited for business and recreation many dozens of times since then. However. prior to the COVID commotion, in 2019 and also now, I became astonished that former very conservative friends had come under the influence of WOKE left and I was unable to even talk about what hit them in the head!! Oh Well, as my mother said many times " It was Fun while it lasted"
Was the babysitting segment commissioned by Bill Gates?! I'm a grandma and it convinced ME not to have any kids! 🤣
oooops. too late!
Lol! It should be required viewing in our high schools! Lol!
OMG 😂, the baby sitting video was a gut buster 🤣. It was almost as funny as watching democrats meltdown over Elon Musk exposing all the corruption 🤣
Thank you for clarifying the "No Coffee" toon. The first thing I thought about was constipation, then I moved along.
So hilarious! (I am embarrassed to admit it took me a couple blinks to realize it was talking about February....) What can I say? It's Friday. 🤣
Omgosh the left's meltdown over Elon is hysterical. The posts I'm seeing on my local Congressman's Facebook page is unbelievable! It's obvious the Democrats are pushing (and paying, probably) for people to hound their Congressmen. But we just keep posting back this is exactly why Trump was elected and why he won the vote and the popular vote, and we got the House and Senate. He's doing exactly what he promised to do. (Thank God!)