Bravo! I have have written about this diabolical societal decline many times. I could still write another 5000 words but I will truncate it down to this: I was a stay-at-home mom raising my three kids in the 70s/80s. I saw this coming as the Women's mags all started pushing the idea that women could be more than just home slaves. I believe this ideology began with the book The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan published in 1963. Took a decade for the virus to catch hold. The result was like dominoes falling. My contemporaries felt empowered to go get jobs which left the rest of us to fill in at the school for volunteering. Then two salaries meant need for daycare and more cars and bigger houses leading to more debt and need for more income. But now, five decades later, the generations raised in daycare are conditioned to this normality. Over time, the concept of feminism being a crusade for equal rights for women has become toxic and thus not only doing the opposite, it is destroying the foundation upon which civilization is built. And the devil laughs.
I'm in the same category as you, Meemanator. One of my male cousins once told me he wished he could stay at home and do nothing like me. I didn't let his comments bother me too much; after all, he abandoned his wife and children and did not pay child support. When he died, his children would not allow their names to be listed in the obituary and they didn't attend the funeral. My brother tried to get me to read Betty Freidan's book, hoping to liberate me from my "oppressive" marriage. My husband and I will celebrate 54 years this October.
With divorce so prevalent now, women and children are vulnerable. I don't know how we can get out of this trap. If we want women to be free to be homemakers, men have to be committed and responsible. Within my church body there are many young women who have chosen to be at home. Their husbands are faithful followers of Christ. We need to demonstrate to young people that this is the best way.
One thing I have also noticed, over the years, is the obsessive drive by entertainment producers to push the lie that women are as strong as men. This is prevalent in TV and movies where a 110 lb 5'2" female cop can fight, force down and handcuff a 250 lb 6'2" perp even as her male counterpart arrives to see the job done. They also tend to make the Superintendent female. I recently read that two female cops (real life) were literally decimated by a suspect they were pursuing. He left them in a heap and got away. But that's never going to happen in our fictional entertainment. I have so many questions though. Like: why are there no transwomen (women who think they are men) seeking to be in men's sports?
Remember when Houston first put armed female cops on the streets I predicted just what happened, one had her gun taken from her within weeks ofthe start of that program. Also those programs fail to mention that males in some cultures will confront female cops when they would not males, thus putting women in those situations provoke violence that otherwise would be avoided
Damn err darn. On the other hand if a human or critter I care about is threatened, I transform into a frothing adversary. I would do my best to be lethal if someone physically attacked me.
I hear you! This mindset is like a black fungus. It grows and multiplies in the dark until the damage is so complete the only way to fix it is to tear down the structure and start over. I am hopeful though. I see changes in my granddaughter's generation. She followed through with her education and earned her doctorate - she's a physical therapist. But now that she has a toddler and another on the way, she has found a way to be at home and do her profession part time. Maybe the tide is turning?
It was probably a false economy in most cases, not only from paying for gas, clothes, daycare and such, but the value of the work not done at home - sewing, gardening, cooking, not to mention being there for the kids getting home from school, and not then being overburdened in the evening. My daughter maintains that there is a swing back the other way going on, but the economics are against due to the warping of the economy you mentioned, not to mention higher taxes. Men always just got jobs because they needed them.
The basic message here is that men are men and women are women but corporate/government interests don't care as long as they both keep their neck in the wage/tax-slave yoke.
It’s ironic that the author starts off by explaining his timidness to have an opinion I suppose because he’s a man speaking about women and the path they choose. In many situations I believe this is a part of the problem. We all should be able to say ,here, what we think without being told to stop talking about what we find as important or pertinent. It’s one thing to disagree and state your point, it’s another thing when someone tells you to stop talking about something that bothers you greatly. I have never told anyone here to stop saying what they feel. I’ve disagreed with some comments and stated my disagreements, but have learned, being green at social media, to let people say what they feel and as of lately even hold back on my disagreements, let people say what they feel! As this author has every right to state his belief to what is important and what is pertinent to him.
It’s an amazing thing what 40 years of doing business can open your eyes too. I have done work for thousands of customers. Many times I do work for couples. Over all of these years I have found that pleasing the wife is usually the most essential part of my job. In most of the jobs I do the female has the strongest opinion and when I comes to picking finishes in a home or building they are usually better at it. I also find that dealing with a couple, almost always produces a better outcome this in my opinion extends into raising children. Generally two heads are better than one, this goes for the project and the costs (budget) of the job.
I have to admit decades of doing commercial and residential construction has made me into a person that demands the end result is pleasing to the customer, and most of the time its the wife that I want to please the most!
I disagree, James. Thomas Harrington is a fine writer, and I agree with his anticipation of a critical response from the dominant feminist elites that, to borrow Meemanator’s phrase above, “(have destroyed) the foundation upon which civilization is built. And the devil laughs.” Dialogue now is more important than ever if we are to recover our civilizational heritage, Very few, if any, of these folks on this forum, but this article was written for wider distribution, and to make an impact, we have to enter the enemy camp (perhaps “enemy” is too strong a word, or perhaps not...) and the goal is to make inroads into their thinking, not to alienate them from the git-go.
I know he’s a fine writer, and I would start his essay exactly with the same hesitancy. I wasn’t criticizing him, I was pointing out that I’ve too many times here been told to stop talking about what bothers me! Or that what I feel is important shouldn’t be brought up, that was my back hand way of saying, “don’t tell me what I can say and what I can’t say”. When we censor people or make them fear what they want to say we not only don’t get to know their thoughts we to many times destroy the best ideas. The best ideas and decisions don’t come from one dictator telling you what you can say and what you can’t say. That was my point. No criticism at all of the author, just a point of acknowledging the importance of free speech and appreciating everyone’s right to say what they feel and think even when you don’t agree. Ok?
Free speech all the way! However, rather than “hesitancy,” can we agree on “anticipation,” because he wanted those folks not to dismiss his argument out of hand as another male chauvinist pig.
Yes we can agree, I actually changed that word. Originally I wrote inability. That’s funny how you picked that word. If you look I edited my post, which I usually do. I often struggle finding the proper word, I’ve gotten a little better at it, a little.
Yup, you are right on, James. A discussion is hard to have here, my comments will certainly not get many "likes". As a matter of fact, the more I read these two writings, the more I feel fired up. To me, there is an imbalance of perspective.
As the father of 3 single daughters with no grandchildren, this rings painfully true to me. I fear multiple generations of girls have been sold these lies and now we are paying the price in plunging demographics.
I have 2 single 30+sons with no grandchildren. They both lately have dated women who have no interest in children, but also seem to have no real career path to make a person think that is their sole purpose in living - they all seem to be wandering in the dark. Both boys are working and seem stable in that respect, but still, lifestyle seems lacking and not fulfilled in totality.
I however see the burst of purpose and vitality that happened during the time I grew up (I am 70) as an anomaly rather than the norm. Many people at many times (I think) have sunk into a kind of aimlessness and a feeling that they have somehow been defeated. And it's not very far from the truth. Of course such people will become followers (or slaves) of whatever activity seems the most powerful at the time. Was it their choice, or not? It can be difficult to tell.
It is truly a sad state of society when a married woman is asked what she does - and she nearly always guiltily responds “I don’t work” - or “I am a homemaker”.
A good reply would be: "I'm happy to say I'm a stay at home Mom raising my children because no one could do that as well as I can. I think it's the most important job in the world."
I absolutely agree. Over the years I have entertained several women in their mid to late 50’s in my therapy practice who were home makers whose husbands abandoned them for a younger model. Homemaking skills do not transfer seamlessly to the work place. These experiences have led me to believe every woman should acquire a skill set suitable for meaningful entry into the world of paid work should that become a necessity.
An alternative answer would be to make a divorce a lot more difficult to get...as it once was. Also, maybe should be a,tad harder to get married since 50% failure rate suggestive folks are not ready for it. Schools could offer courses pointing out just what marriage really entails..may help.
Thank you, Tony. The more I read this couple of writings the more I feel there is so much of the dynamic that is left out. The idea that girls should prepare for a way to make a living for themselves and children, sounds like a good idea, not a heretical dismissal of the "traditional" family. I know, both my mother and I needed to be creative and resourceful to survive as well as thrive.
I am definitely pro marriage and family. My wife and I have been married 56 years. I am an ordained elder with the Church of the Nazarene. Sadly, I have seen some really difficult situations for women who choose to be homemakers and then ended up divorced late in life. It’s not a perfect world. Seems to happen in the mid 50’s when some guys are having an identity crisis.
I also think it would be educational to discuss this aspect of the male ego (not just the male...) that makes men so vulnerable to leaving for a younger "model". This is just one aspect of many. Just to play the "devils advocate" no one mentions that Jesus didn't marry or have recorded children. No role modeling there, just a wise and open heart.
There has been a cultural paradigm shift revolving around education. Once a high school diploma was the entry label for probably 80-90% of the work force. Today that has been taken away and needs to be brought back.
I cannot think of one thing more important than a mother raising her own children and making an inviting and nurturing home for the family. My husband and I agreed that I would be a full time mother and homemaker once our children were born. At least until they were in school all day. Those years were the happiest and most fulfilling for me, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. In fact, I felt sorry for my husband who had to go to work and leave the family.
Since I am an RN there were many avenues open to me. Therefore, when our youngest was in 3rd grade I accepted a part time teaching position at a college that prepared students in allied health fields. I was home to get the boys off to school and home when they got home. It worked perfectly for us. I am glad that I had a profession I could call on when it was appropriate and didn’t interfere with raising a family. However, I’m so glad my husband was able to provide enough for us to choose that lifestyle. We made sacrifices, but not big ones. We didn’t go out to dinner a lot, and I did a lot of sewing.
It’s so sad that young women have been told that the only fulfillment is through a career outside the home. It definitely is not true.
On one hand, we have the Hillary Clintons you opened with, the Angela Merkels, the brain-dead AOCs, and worst even if not most powerful, the Jacinda Arderns.
On the other hand, you have others like Margaret Thatcher, Giorgia Meloni, Marine Le Pen, and others who are shining examples of what intelligent women can do for their countries.
Beware the liberal white woman, for she yearns to spend her childless years mothering society to make up for her empty nest.
Women should be revered and honored for their key role in maintaining humanity rather than be subservient and manipulated. Our educational system has to rethink their role.
You opened with a quote by H Clinton stating that women have always been the primary victims of war.
I’m not here to speak of who suffers more. I saw what Viet Nam did to my brother for the rest of his life.
And I’m sure not here to defend Clinton.
But my understanding of this quote is its reference to the rape of women and girls. And rape produces forced pregnancies. This is a well known weapon of war.
I think Clinton meant more than that, yet this was not the point of the article. We can find victimhood everywhere, both it the lives of men and of women. Real freedom remains elusive for us all, regardless of the supposed advances of "women's liberation," or any other sort of "liberation."
Talking about the workplace....just heard a hard look at the H1b is in the offing because someone has awakened to the harm this program does to US IT grads. And it only took 40-odd yrs for this reality to finally sink in because I was hearing about it in the 80s
While all of this is true, it is nonetheless also true that feminism has some valid points to make. Men have historically frequently not treated women as well as they deserve to be treated, to say the least.
Women historically have not stood up for themselves as well as they should have.
Men's work exploits, however hard and stressful, often earn them more social kudos, and they can look forward to periodic raises and the camaraderie of the workplace (ideally).
Women are insufficiently celebrated for the contribution of child-rearing, which, for anyone who has done it knows, is one of the most thankless jobs imaginable. It is of course, its own reward, and priceless at that, but we all need recognition and appreciation for our efforts, and women historically have been short-changed in this regard.
Many women have unique gifts to give society that men are less capable of. This is particularly true in the helping professions, but there are women who can excel at nearly any area men can.
Of course, in professional sports, and work that requires great strength, they mostly can't compete with the strongest men, but these are exceptions to the rule.
Whereas men are caricatured as absent and unfeeling, in fact, most men want to spend more time with their families, and enjoy it. They often find it hard to do this because of work stress, exhaustion, and because in fact, being with one's children is as much work as it is pleasure.
Feminism appears to be the wrong solution to real problems. The problems seem to stem from our cultural norms which tend to create an unnecessarily wide gulf in the division of labor. Men have allowed themselves to be exploited as laborers - working ungodly hours, and exposing themselves to risks and dangers that shorten their lifespans. It was far worse in the nineteenth century, but still tends to be that way. We need to reimagine our lives so that women can work together with men cooperatively at home and in the workplace more routinely. It is likely optimal, especially in the early years of childrens' lives, that women bear more of this burden than men, because of biological factors, but men could still do more! And it is likely that women could do more than just child-rearing and housework once their children become more independent - certainly beginning when they are around 5, and certainly by the time they become 11 or 12. Culture should encourage this more, even before age 5!
Culture is a construct of both men and women. It is not imposed by one group on another. We need to avoid the pitfalls of misogyny and misandry, and reconstruct our culture to celebrate what women uniquely have to offer, what men uniquely have to offer, and create new cultural norms that elicit their talents, rather than punish others or ones own group because of the mistakes of the past. This is the same mistake of "institutional racism" and is a dead end. Let's build on our strengths, not highlight or over-emphasize our past failures.
Times have changed from the fifties, when I was a stay at home mom. My mother was a devoted teacher, and was not in the home for her own children, when i was growing up. So I offered to work, when I was first married, but my husband wanted me to stay at home. Well, i went along with him. I learned more from raising children and being in the home than I would ever had learned, if i had gone to work. As a young mother, raising children, the answers I found contributed to another chapter in my life, after my children were raised. Life is for learning and being in the home gave me valuable life experiences. Money isn't everything!
Spot-ON, Thomas Harrington! While "Feminine Mystique" author - Betty Friedan - (intellectually) gave birth to the notion of absolute male/female "equality" IN ALL things that by the early 1970s was literally tearing apart 'traditional' family values in America - was at its core pure Karl Marx and the insanity of the quest for the utopia of absolute quality in all aspects of the human condition that transcended mere common sense.
BTW, regarding the notion of "work," aside from a stint as "foreign correspondent" for the New York Tribune publisher Horace Greeley, Karl Marx had NO real work experience in ANY kind of "physical" work at all - a phenomenon shared by modern-day Marxist politicians such as Bernie Sanders, Barry Soterio aka Barrack Obama, Joe Biden and Jerrold Nadler just to name a few.
Bottom line, the (generational) obsession with all things - and OUTCOMES - being "equal" between the two genders will continue to confuse, degrade and decouple reality from utopianism
and (the) continuation of societal disintegration into oblivion.
As for Hillary (Rodham) Clinton, she became an inveterate (Marxist) liar when she was radicalized at Wellesley Girls School (and) became a friend and accolade (her thesis was on "Rules for Radicals" author - the American Communist - Saul Alinsky). Recall as a young "lawyer" Hillary Rodham was FIRED from the Democrat legal staff preparing the impeachment of Richard Nixon by (Democrat) -Jerry Zeifman - Chief Council for the House Judiciary Committee, because (he said), "She was a liar and an unethical dishonest lawyer who conspired to violate the Constitution and Committee rules."
How interesting! I can't say I or my family invested in such reflections.
My mother aspired for 6 children and then she had me. My poor father found us hard to tolerate and was only able to tolerate being with us for short intervals. My mother used her MS to earn a good wage to support my grandparents and I.
Her original goal for me was as a housewife. I married the adopted son of a consigliere. His parents concluded I couldn't usher them into high society and was too bright. They advised their son his choice was their money or me. With a divorce and $500 I was dispatched.
With $500 I bought my yearling and got a job to support her. It wasn't enough to live independently from my mother, so I earned a BA. My horse went to MI State with me.
I never understood I was obliged to marry or reproduce. My experiences, to me, led to a conclusion that such a future was unachievable. On reflection, one might say I had my child in my horse. We needed to be support ourselves.
So, in the end, I have to wonder whether the war years, Rosie the riveter and diminished males in the general population might not have also played a role the directions we've taken. At the other end of our reflections, at a population level, are males generally focused on roles as husbands (in a long haul), fathers with families as a desirable future?
Bravo! I have have written about this diabolical societal decline many times. I could still write another 5000 words but I will truncate it down to this: I was a stay-at-home mom raising my three kids in the 70s/80s. I saw this coming as the Women's mags all started pushing the idea that women could be more than just home slaves. I believe this ideology began with the book The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan published in 1963. Took a decade for the virus to catch hold. The result was like dominoes falling. My contemporaries felt empowered to go get jobs which left the rest of us to fill in at the school for volunteering. Then two salaries meant need for daycare and more cars and bigger houses leading to more debt and need for more income. But now, five decades later, the generations raised in daycare are conditioned to this normality. Over time, the concept of feminism being a crusade for equal rights for women has become toxic and thus not only doing the opposite, it is destroying the foundation upon which civilization is built. And the devil laughs.
I'm in the same category as you, Meemanator. One of my male cousins once told me he wished he could stay at home and do nothing like me. I didn't let his comments bother me too much; after all, he abandoned his wife and children and did not pay child support. When he died, his children would not allow their names to be listed in the obituary and they didn't attend the funeral. My brother tried to get me to read Betty Freidan's book, hoping to liberate me from my "oppressive" marriage. My husband and I will celebrate 54 years this October.
With divorce so prevalent now, women and children are vulnerable. I don't know how we can get out of this trap. If we want women to be free to be homemakers, men have to be committed and responsible. Within my church body there are many young women who have chosen to be at home. Their husbands are faithful followers of Christ. We need to demonstrate to young people that this is the best way.
One thing I have also noticed, over the years, is the obsessive drive by entertainment producers to push the lie that women are as strong as men. This is prevalent in TV and movies where a 110 lb 5'2" female cop can fight, force down and handcuff a 250 lb 6'2" perp even as her male counterpart arrives to see the job done. They also tend to make the Superintendent female. I recently read that two female cops (real life) were literally decimated by a suspect they were pursuing. He left them in a heap and got away. But that's never going to happen in our fictional entertainment. I have so many questions though. Like: why are there no transwomen (women who think they are men) seeking to be in men's sports?
Remember when Houston first put armed female cops on the streets I predicted just what happened, one had her gun taken from her within weeks ofthe start of that program. Also those programs fail to mention that males in some cultures will confront female cops when they would not males, thus putting women in those situations provoke violence that otherwise would be avoided
Tried to get a job as a policewoman straight out of college. They sent me packing as being too nice.
Well, the fictional female cops usuually have long sausage curl hair and their makeup is always perfect. LOL
I was a fan of the original comic book Wonder Woman.
Well, you probably were. Sure are now
Damn err darn. On the other hand if a human or critter I care about is threatened, I transform into a frothing adversary. I would do my best to be lethal if someone physically attacked me.
Your "Attraction" gained no "Traction" in the rankings.
Real life is so not like fictional life but fiction is often used to influence stream of consciousness.
BINGO....One Bad Dude says to the other,
Now we b havin sum fun.. SON!!
Hold my Beer........
I hear you! This mindset is like a black fungus. It grows and multiplies in the dark until the damage is so complete the only way to fix it is to tear down the structure and start over. I am hopeful though. I see changes in my granddaughter's generation. She followed through with her education and earned her doctorate - she's a physical therapist. But now that she has a toddler and another on the way, she has found a way to be at home and do her profession part time. Maybe the tide is turning?
It was probably a false economy in most cases, not only from paying for gas, clothes, daycare and such, but the value of the work not done at home - sewing, gardening, cooking, not to mention being there for the kids getting home from school, and not then being overburdened in the evening. My daughter maintains that there is a swing back the other way going on, but the economics are against due to the warping of the economy you mentioned, not to mention higher taxes. Men always just got jobs because they needed them.
The pendulum always swings. Hoping I can see it in my lifetime.
I've found that what your granddaughter is doing, working part time, is actually quite common.
They are also getting married later in life - like early thirties - so they seem to be more mature about picking committed mates.
Liked the "AND THE DEVIL LAUGHS" ending.
He has been handed more routine stand up comedy gigs than ever.
And he works for free and the thrill of it all!
When you love what you do....You never work a day of your life! Haha
And one day he will reap all that is owed him. 👍
Yep, that's rare tho'.
Excellent essay on society today.
The basic message here is that men are men and women are women but corporate/government interests don't care as long as they both keep their neck in the wage/tax-slave yoke.
It’s ironic that the author starts off by explaining his timidness to have an opinion I suppose because he’s a man speaking about women and the path they choose. In many situations I believe this is a part of the problem. We all should be able to say ,here, what we think without being told to stop talking about what we find as important or pertinent. It’s one thing to disagree and state your point, it’s another thing when someone tells you to stop talking about something that bothers you greatly. I have never told anyone here to stop saying what they feel. I’ve disagreed with some comments and stated my disagreements, but have learned, being green at social media, to let people say what they feel and as of lately even hold back on my disagreements, let people say what they feel! As this author has every right to state his belief to what is important and what is pertinent to him.
It’s an amazing thing what 40 years of doing business can open your eyes too. I have done work for thousands of customers. Many times I do work for couples. Over all of these years I have found that pleasing the wife is usually the most essential part of my job. In most of the jobs I do the female has the strongest opinion and when I comes to picking finishes in a home or building they are usually better at it. I also find that dealing with a couple, almost always produces a better outcome this in my opinion extends into raising children. Generally two heads are better than one, this goes for the project and the costs (budget) of the job.
I have to admit decades of doing commercial and residential construction has made me into a person that demands the end result is pleasing to the customer, and most of the time its the wife that I want to please the most!
I agree, no reason to apologize for what is about to be written. If the principles we believe in are correct, and they are, no reason to apologize.
I disagree, James. Thomas Harrington is a fine writer, and I agree with his anticipation of a critical response from the dominant feminist elites that, to borrow Meemanator’s phrase above, “(have destroyed) the foundation upon which civilization is built. And the devil laughs.” Dialogue now is more important than ever if we are to recover our civilizational heritage, Very few, if any, of these folks on this forum, but this article was written for wider distribution, and to make an impact, we have to enter the enemy camp (perhaps “enemy” is too strong a word, or perhaps not...) and the goal is to make inroads into their thinking, not to alienate them from the git-go.
I know he’s a fine writer, and I would start his essay exactly with the same hesitancy. I wasn’t criticizing him, I was pointing out that I’ve too many times here been told to stop talking about what bothers me! Or that what I feel is important shouldn’t be brought up, that was my back hand way of saying, “don’t tell me what I can say and what I can’t say”. When we censor people or make them fear what they want to say we not only don’t get to know their thoughts we to many times destroy the best ideas. The best ideas and decisions don’t come from one dictator telling you what you can say and what you can’t say. That was my point. No criticism at all of the author, just a point of acknowledging the importance of free speech and appreciating everyone’s right to say what they feel and think even when you don’t agree. Ok?
Free speech all the way! However, rather than “hesitancy,” can we agree on “anticipation,” because he wanted those folks not to dismiss his argument out of hand as another male chauvinist pig.
Yes we can agree, I actually changed that word. Originally I wrote inability. That’s funny how you picked that word. If you look I edited my post, which I usually do. I often struggle finding the proper word, I’ve gotten a little better at it, a little.
Always enjoy your posts, James, thoughtful and heartfelt. And necessary!
Thank You 53 Chapter!!
So many times if I just wait, breath deep in and out my skill & perception is better.
I have learned that LM Drew!! It took me a while.
Yup, you are right on, James. A discussion is hard to have here, my comments will certainly not get many "likes". As a matter of fact, the more I read these two writings, the more I feel fired up. To me, there is an imbalance of perspective.
Amen!
As the father of 3 single daughters with no grandchildren, this rings painfully true to me. I fear multiple generations of girls have been sold these lies and now we are paying the price in plunging demographics.
I have 2 single 30+sons with no grandchildren. They both lately have dated women who have no interest in children, but also seem to have no real career path to make a person think that is their sole purpose in living - they all seem to be wandering in the dark. Both boys are working and seem stable in that respect, but still, lifestyle seems lacking and not fulfilled in totality.
This I fear is a common and sad reality.
I however see the burst of purpose and vitality that happened during the time I grew up (I am 70) as an anomaly rather than the norm. Many people at many times (I think) have sunk into a kind of aimlessness and a feeling that they have somehow been defeated. And it's not very far from the truth. Of course such people will become followers (or slaves) of whatever activity seems the most powerful at the time. Was it their choice, or not? It can be difficult to tell.
It is truly a sad state of society when a married woman is asked what she does - and she nearly always guiltily responds “I don’t work” - or “I am a homemaker”.
My wife is a “Homemaker” and a model for society. 🙂
A good reply would be: "I'm happy to say I'm a stay at home Mom raising my children because no one could do that as well as I can. I think it's the most important job in the world."
I absolutely agree. Over the years I have entertained several women in their mid to late 50’s in my therapy practice who were home makers whose husbands abandoned them for a younger model. Homemaking skills do not transfer seamlessly to the work place. These experiences have led me to believe every woman should acquire a skill set suitable for meaningful entry into the world of paid work should that become a necessity.
An alternative answer would be to make a divorce a lot more difficult to get...as it once was. Also, maybe should be a,tad harder to get married since 50% failure rate suggestive folks are not ready for it. Schools could offer courses pointing out just what marriage really entails..may help.
All great suggestions. We are in serious need of a shift in cultural attitudes and knowledge regarding both the institution of marriage and parenting.
What ever happened to 'marriage councilors"?
Back in religious days that job pretty well handled by family minister/priest.
They all got divorced.😕
Thank you, Tony. The more I read this couple of writings the more I feel there is so much of the dynamic that is left out. The idea that girls should prepare for a way to make a living for themselves and children, sounds like a good idea, not a heretical dismissal of the "traditional" family. I know, both my mother and I needed to be creative and resourceful to survive as well as thrive.
I am definitely pro marriage and family. My wife and I have been married 56 years. I am an ordained elder with the Church of the Nazarene. Sadly, I have seen some really difficult situations for women who choose to be homemakers and then ended up divorced late in life. It’s not a perfect world. Seems to happen in the mid 50’s when some guys are having an identity crisis.
I also think it would be educational to discuss this aspect of the male ego (not just the male...) that makes men so vulnerable to leaving for a younger "model". This is just one aspect of many. Just to play the "devils advocate" no one mentions that Jesus didn't marry or have recorded children. No role modeling there, just a wise and open heart.
There has been a cultural paradigm shift revolving around education. Once a high school diploma was the entry label for probably 80-90% of the work force. Today that has been taken away and needs to be brought back.
I cannot think of one thing more important than a mother raising her own children and making an inviting and nurturing home for the family. My husband and I agreed that I would be a full time mother and homemaker once our children were born. At least until they were in school all day. Those years were the happiest and most fulfilling for me, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. In fact, I felt sorry for my husband who had to go to work and leave the family.
Since I am an RN there were many avenues open to me. Therefore, when our youngest was in 3rd grade I accepted a part time teaching position at a college that prepared students in allied health fields. I was home to get the boys off to school and home when they got home. It worked perfectly for us. I am glad that I had a profession I could call on when it was appropriate and didn’t interfere with raising a family. However, I’m so glad my husband was able to provide enough for us to choose that lifestyle. We made sacrifices, but not big ones. We didn’t go out to dinner a lot, and I did a lot of sewing.
It’s so sad that young women have been told that the only fulfillment is through a career outside the home. It definitely is not true.
I’ll focus on one part:
On one hand, we have the Hillary Clintons you opened with, the Angela Merkels, the brain-dead AOCs, and worst even if not most powerful, the Jacinda Arderns.
On the other hand, you have others like Margaret Thatcher, Giorgia Meloni, Marine Le Pen, and others who are shining examples of what intelligent women can do for their countries.
Beware the liberal white woman, for she yearns to spend her childless years mothering society to make up for her empty nest.
Women should be revered and honored for their key role in maintaining humanity rather than be subservient and manipulated. Our educational system has to rethink their role.
You opened with a quote by H Clinton stating that women have always been the primary victims of war.
I’m not here to speak of who suffers more. I saw what Viet Nam did to my brother for the rest of his life.
And I’m sure not here to defend Clinton.
But my understanding of this quote is its reference to the rape of women and girls. And rape produces forced pregnancies. This is a well known weapon of war.
I think Clinton meant more than that, yet this was not the point of the article. We can find victimhood everywhere, both it the lives of men and of women. Real freedom remains elusive for us all, regardless of the supposed advances of "women's liberation," or any other sort of "liberation."
Talking about the workplace....just heard a hard look at the H1b is in the offing because someone has awakened to the harm this program does to US IT grads. And it only took 40-odd yrs for this reality to finally sink in because I was hearing about it in the 80s
"Lies are Unbekoming" has a substack where he talks about how feminism has only hurt women, and has helped to advance both predatory capitalism and communism: https://unbekoming.substack.com/p/the-feminist-war-on-human-nature?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=355417&post_id=168844103&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=false&r=ql1e3&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email. This excellent article compliments this excellent one by Harrington/Malone. "Unbekoming" emphasizes how women have substituted one misery for another kind, mistakenly believing that entering the workforce would "solve" their problems at home.
While all of this is true, it is nonetheless also true that feminism has some valid points to make. Men have historically frequently not treated women as well as they deserve to be treated, to say the least.
Women historically have not stood up for themselves as well as they should have.
Men's work exploits, however hard and stressful, often earn them more social kudos, and they can look forward to periodic raises and the camaraderie of the workplace (ideally).
Women are insufficiently celebrated for the contribution of child-rearing, which, for anyone who has done it knows, is one of the most thankless jobs imaginable. It is of course, its own reward, and priceless at that, but we all need recognition and appreciation for our efforts, and women historically have been short-changed in this regard.
Many women have unique gifts to give society that men are less capable of. This is particularly true in the helping professions, but there are women who can excel at nearly any area men can.
Of course, in professional sports, and work that requires great strength, they mostly can't compete with the strongest men, but these are exceptions to the rule.
Whereas men are caricatured as absent and unfeeling, in fact, most men want to spend more time with their families, and enjoy it. They often find it hard to do this because of work stress, exhaustion, and because in fact, being with one's children is as much work as it is pleasure.
Feminism appears to be the wrong solution to real problems. The problems seem to stem from our cultural norms which tend to create an unnecessarily wide gulf in the division of labor. Men have allowed themselves to be exploited as laborers - working ungodly hours, and exposing themselves to risks and dangers that shorten their lifespans. It was far worse in the nineteenth century, but still tends to be that way. We need to reimagine our lives so that women can work together with men cooperatively at home and in the workplace more routinely. It is likely optimal, especially in the early years of childrens' lives, that women bear more of this burden than men, because of biological factors, but men could still do more! And it is likely that women could do more than just child-rearing and housework once their children become more independent - certainly beginning when they are around 5, and certainly by the time they become 11 or 12. Culture should encourage this more, even before age 5!
Culture is a construct of both men and women. It is not imposed by one group on another. We need to avoid the pitfalls of misogyny and misandry, and reconstruct our culture to celebrate what women uniquely have to offer, what men uniquely have to offer, and create new cultural norms that elicit their talents, rather than punish others or ones own group because of the mistakes of the past. This is the same mistake of "institutional racism" and is a dead end. Let's build on our strengths, not highlight or over-emphasize our past failures.
Times have changed from the fifties, when I was a stay at home mom. My mother was a devoted teacher, and was not in the home for her own children, when i was growing up. So I offered to work, when I was first married, but my husband wanted me to stay at home. Well, i went along with him. I learned more from raising children and being in the home than I would ever had learned, if i had gone to work. As a young mother, raising children, the answers I found contributed to another chapter in my life, after my children were raised. Life is for learning and being in the home gave me valuable life experiences. Money isn't everything!
Spot-ON, Thomas Harrington! While "Feminine Mystique" author - Betty Friedan - (intellectually) gave birth to the notion of absolute male/female "equality" IN ALL things that by the early 1970s was literally tearing apart 'traditional' family values in America - was at its core pure Karl Marx and the insanity of the quest for the utopia of absolute quality in all aspects of the human condition that transcended mere common sense.
BTW, regarding the notion of "work," aside from a stint as "foreign correspondent" for the New York Tribune publisher Horace Greeley, Karl Marx had NO real work experience in ANY kind of "physical" work at all - a phenomenon shared by modern-day Marxist politicians such as Bernie Sanders, Barry Soterio aka Barrack Obama, Joe Biden and Jerrold Nadler just to name a few.
Bottom line, the (generational) obsession with all things - and OUTCOMES - being "equal" between the two genders will continue to confuse, degrade and decouple reality from utopianism
and (the) continuation of societal disintegration into oblivion.
As for Hillary (Rodham) Clinton, she became an inveterate (Marxist) liar when she was radicalized at Wellesley Girls School (and) became a friend and accolade (her thesis was on "Rules for Radicals" author - the American Communist - Saul Alinsky). Recall as a young "lawyer" Hillary Rodham was FIRED from the Democrat legal staff preparing the impeachment of Richard Nixon by (Democrat) -Jerry Zeifman - Chief Council for the House Judiciary Committee, because (he said), "She was a liar and an unethical dishonest lawyer who conspired to violate the Constitution and Committee rules."
Some things NEVER change, LOL!
I dunno Guys....my Mom was born in 1922 raised in the city during a depression.
She recalls her own mother crying at night as there was no food in the house.
A lesson she I'm certain she remembers in the deepest of sorrowed times.
But the one thing she repeated many times as I recall growing up was this,
IF you want something done well....ask a Woman to do it!!
My Mom was no Dummy. Raised four boys and could read two books in a day/night time.
Not to mention the Dragon slayer of daily crossword puzzles.
Miss you Mom. Hope your new life is all you could dream it to be!
I think I intuit more than you state. I feel comforted and send that to you.
It was incredibly interesting to be her "go to guy" from age 86-88.
Her humor and mindful insights were razor sharp till the final few days.
Her only complaint was aches and pains. Rather immobilizing nonstop!
She wanted off the ride, did "will" herself to go. I was the observer to it.
You can learn a lot about someone who is "living and dying" for the "passing away".
How interesting! I can't say I or my family invested in such reflections.
My mother aspired for 6 children and then she had me. My poor father found us hard to tolerate and was only able to tolerate being with us for short intervals. My mother used her MS to earn a good wage to support my grandparents and I.
Her original goal for me was as a housewife. I married the adopted son of a consigliere. His parents concluded I couldn't usher them into high society and was too bright. They advised their son his choice was their money or me. With a divorce and $500 I was dispatched.
With $500 I bought my yearling and got a job to support her. It wasn't enough to live independently from my mother, so I earned a BA. My horse went to MI State with me.
I never understood I was obliged to marry or reproduce. My experiences, to me, led to a conclusion that such a future was unachievable. On reflection, one might say I had my child in my horse. We needed to be support ourselves.
So, in the end, I have to wonder whether the war years, Rosie the riveter and diminished males in the general population might not have also played a role the directions we've taken. At the other end of our reflections, at a population level, are males generally focused on roles as husbands (in a long haul), fathers with families as a desirable future?